The Ten Commandments

"Outside it's not quite dark
But it's getting there." Dylan

The American Tea Party, a homogenous group of white, semi-middle class people who mostly limped out of some mediocre high school sometime in the 1950's and 1960's and whose consequent entanglement with deeper intellect has been limited to TV sound bites and books written by Ann Coulter, represents the new home grown terrorism. These people wish to threaten those who would defend the very fiber of democracy. They initiated their dissatisfaction with government, coincidentally, with the election of Barack Obama, who, coincidentally, is not white and does not read Ann Coulter or watch Fox News.

In order to enlist in this anti army which confuses socialism and fascism, capitalism and theft on a daily basis, one must subscribe to a couple of ancient looking stone tablets enumerating the 21st century's vision of the ten commandments. To wit:

1. God is an American idol. I love him above all else. He looks a lot like me. He speaks oftentimes to our glorious leaders who relate his infinite wisdom to us, especially the parts about how delusional others can be.

2. Socialism is a prominent evil, but I will reluctantly accept social security and medicare in order to continue my fight against socialism.

3. Hate all workers' unions despite the fact that without them our sorry asses would have never had a pension or health care. Since we never prepared for anything, we deserve everything, including a class A motorhome.

4. We don't want government making decisions about our health care. That work is best left in the hands of Wall Street execs who understand that we are more important than profits.

5. Taxes are inherently evil and serve no purpose. Teachers, public servants, firemen and police officers are overpaid with too many benefits and must be publicly humiliated by those of us who are not qualified to do anything of material value.

6. Guns are our friends and we need to stock pile them due to the socialist in the presidency.

7. Abortion became law in the 1970's but it is all Obama's fault. Besides, God hates it, he told us so. It is in the bible with the other stuff like selling your daughter into slavery and cooking live animals on the bbq grill. It is good to know these things.

8. Kill our enemies before they get the chance to kill us. Collateral damage can be expected, but they are not Americans so who cares.

9. Liberals are actually radicals and mean to hurt us by saying stuff like health care is a right and not just a privilege for the rich.

10. Shout nonsense and trite expressions at public gatherings and refuse to listen to anyone trying to be reasonable. Calm, rational folk are dangerous and just want to tread on the moral fabric of this country. I want "my" country back.